Joe Lupton and Jeff Holland met and fell in love in 1998. In the fall of 1999, Jeff relocated to Durham, NC to live with Joe. Our lives together were what we thought of as perfect. We had time to travel several times a year, had our families within driving distance for holidays, birthdays and special occasions. Although the two families rarely had the occasion to see one another, each knew who everyone was and we all got along well. At the time we met, Joe was a high school chorus teacher, music director at a local church and piano teacher. Jeff was a retail store manager. The 2 schedules although sometimes difficult with Joe at work during the morning and afternoon and Jeff working many evenings, worked for them.
In 2003, Jeff left retail, went to real estate school and became a REALTOR. He continues to this day as a real estate agent but is now a broker/office manager at a local real estate company. Joe retired from the public schools in 2007 but continued his position as music director at our church, started as the accompanist of several local choruses and actively started seeking piano students. Life was very good and we were very happy. In October of 2010 after returning from taking his mother to Myrtle Beach, SC for a week, Jeff noticed that Joe was quite jaundiced looking. He immediately went to the doctor where they ran blood tests for possible Hepatitis. When the results came back negative he went to the doctor again for more tests, x-rays and a CT scan. It was during that process that a mass was discovered on his pancreas. The doctor referred Joe to an oncologist at Duke University Medical Center. That is where our journey began.
The stresses, both physical and emotional we took on together. The writings that followed were a result of the afternoon after that first doctor’s appointment. The ride home from Duke included phone calls to Joe’s mother, Joe’s sister and Joe’s brother. When we got home, the calls to Jeff’s family began. Then the calls to and from close friends. Everyone they loved was of course eager to hear what the doctor had said and what the course of treatment would be. By early evening, both of them had relayed the story and events of the day multiple times, each time becoming very emotional. By the time the phone calls stopped that night they were both in agreement that they couldn’t do this each time there was a doctor’s appointment or a change in his condition. From that the original blog was born.
Through the website, they would be able to communicate what was going on without having to tell and re-tell the stories over and over. The first task was to name the website and verify that the URL was available. Joe being the musician and quite clever in his own right, came up with “The Big C not Middle C”. Jeff checked and the URL was indeed available through Blogspot. From that the blog began.
Joe died on January 13, 2013 peacefully in our home. The struggles up to that point and immediately after are well chronicled in The Big C Not Middle C. I have kept that blog up and running and will always keep it live. However, after 3 months, it is time to re-invent how I post as they now only deal with the aftermath of his death. How it affected me, how I am coping and how I try to move forward after so devastating an event. Thus, “Life Without Joe After The Big C Not Middle C” has been born.
Through the website, they would be able to communicate what was going on without having to tell and re-tell the stories over and over. The first task was to name the website and verify that the URL was available. Joe being the musician and quite clever in his own right, came up with “The Big C not Middle C”. Jeff checked and the URL was indeed available through Blogspot. From that the blog began.
Joe died on January 13, 2013 peacefully in our home. The struggles up to that point and immediately after are well chronicled in The Big C Not Middle C. I have kept that blog up and running and will always keep it live. However, after 3 months, it is time to re-invent how I post as they now only deal with the aftermath of his death. How it affected me, how I am coping and how I try to move forward after so devastating an event. Thus, “Life Without Joe After The Big C Not Middle C” has been born.
